Where have I been?
In my last post, I told you a bit about how I had let things get on top of me, and how I was taking some time away from the pressures of marketing my business while I was re-thinking my part time job situation and juggling taking care of an energetic toddler in the mix. I had been stretching myself too thin with little reward for my efforts, and I’d almost got to breaking point.
Sometimes, you have to just step back and look at the bigger picture.
My problem isn’t really just that I’m unhappy with my part time job, but I’ve come to realise that I’ve got myself into a rut and have lost confidence in myself. My inner voice has become negative, and I doubt every move I make. And that’s what I’ve got to work on next.
My total lack of confidence is affecting every aspect of my life. I doubt my abilities as a mother, I doubt myself as a wife, I’ve convinced myself that I’m not good enough in my work… it’s no wonder I crashed! But do you know what? My child is healthy and happy, my husband still loves me, I haven’t lost my part time job (even though it’s not the job a really want to be doing), and my freelance clients are happy with the work I turn in for them. So that means that the problem is me, and my attitude.
Starting now, I’m going to turn those negatives into positives.
My negative: I’m too tired to make an effort with this.
The Positive: Sure, I’m a bit tired, but I woke up this morning, I have a supportive family, and I have everything I need.
My negative: I don’t want to be in this job, it’s not my dream (about my part time job).
The Positive: I will continue to work towards my dream job while I earn money from this one.
My negative: I’m not good enough/it’s too difficult.
The Positive: I am good enough; I’ve proven it time and time again. And I can do this, nothing good ever came easy.
This blog post doesn’t really have much of a message, other than to explain a little bit about why I’ve been absent from social media, and to say, guys, I’m working on it.